Practice Changing Your Perspective

The more familiar you are with how it feels to successfully shift your focus from something negative to a more positive outlook ; the more often you will be able to keep yourself in the good feeling places.

IMPORTANT!

Do not underestimate the value of this habit when it comes to your love relationship!

Try practicing on things that you don’t care too much about: the granny in the fast lane, the unbelievably slow internet connection, the weather.

  • Practice changing your perspective.
  • Practice finding things to appreciate.
  • Practice shrugging off minor annoyances.
  • Practice laughing unconditionally at every opportunity.
  • Practice finding the things in any person or situation that make you feel good and really get acquainted with those thoughts and feelings.

Collect them, if you will.

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The Lovers by Cesare Detti
12×16 Giclee
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Make a point of becoming familiar with your joys and you WILL experience more of them!

How to do this in your love relationship:

If one part of your relationship is displeasing, you know it is time to focus on another part of it.

Trust in the certainty that all is well between you and your beloved and that your relationship is growing and unfolding perfectly.

Feel the magic of optimism. Pessimism and focus-on-what-is-not-wanted yields nothing of any value to the flowering of your romantic relationship.

Soon you will notice that you must be living a charmed life; lights turn green, parking places materialize, you meet the friendliest people…

Oh yeah…AND your mate just can’t stop kissing you!

How to create the romance you want

The more focused attention you give your romance (or anything!), the more rampant the growth. This is delightful when the object of your focus is something that you desire!

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Lovers by a Fountain by Modesto Faustini
18×24 Giclee
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Conversely, if you are focusing on the negative aspects, it can make your love relationship rather unpleasant too.

What to do?

If you want to shift what you are experiencing, then you will need to adjust your focus. It is best and infinitely more effective to do this slowly, bit by bit.

Trying to make an extreme change in your viewpoint is likely to be insincere and temporary.

Stop keeping score and stop obsessing over that which you do not like.

A good way to start the positive shift is by trying to find a thought that feels better than the one you have been thinking.

For example: Let’s say that you have been noticing that your mate doesn’t kiss you as often as you might like. The more you notice them not kissing you, the less you are kissed.

Perhaps you’ve mentioned it to them and maybe they have even agreed to try to remember to kiss you more often. But the kisses just aren’t materializing and you REALLY notice the absence of them.

Your focus is effectively creating more of what you do not want.

So you need to come up with a thought that feels better than “My mate never kisses me anymore.”

The progression could go something like this:

  • 1. My mate never kisses me anymore.
  • 2. My mate doesn’t kiss me as often as I’d like.
  • 3. My mate doesn’t kiss me as often as I’d like but they hug me every now and then.
  • 4. My mate hugs me every now and then and sometimes smiles at me when we pass in the hallway.
  • 5. My mate hugs me and usually smiles at me when we pass in the hallway.
  • 6. My mate hugs me and smiles at me. I know my mate cares about me.
  • 7. My unbelievably attractive and caring and devoted mate hugs me, smiles at me, takes out the garbage without being asked, cleans the toilet and brings home chocolate regularly.

Ooops! Slow down! You get the idea…